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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Freedom of Speech, If You Say What I Want You To Say


January 27, 2004 -- EXETER, N.H. - Wise-cracking funnyman Al Franken yesterday body-slammed a demonstrator to the ground after the man tried to shout down Gov. Howard Dean.

That Al Franken is sooooo freakin funny. Can you stop laughing at this visual? I can't. I imagine him in a Stuart Smally fuzy tan sweater, and that kinda whacked-out, fright-wig, blond hair...body slamming this poor schlep..."I'm good enough" *slam* "I'm smart enough" *slam* "and doggoneit" *slam**slap* "people like me! *kick*

Franken said he's not backing Dean but merely wanted to protect the right of people to speak freely. "I would have done it if he was a Dean supporter at a Kerry rally," he said.

I find the best way to protect free speech is to tell people to shut up (Howard Dean: "Sit down! You've had your say, now it's my turn") or body slam them into submission (Franken).

Franken emerged from the crowd and charged one male protester, grabbing him with a bear hug from behind and slamming him onto the floor.

Now, Franken could have handled this differently, don't you think? Perhaps the Dean campaign could have imposed sanctions on the individual, you know, like asking him to leave or quiet down, or running a blockade to make sure he didn't get any refreshments? And, really, they should have appealed to the other campaigns to come up with a unilateral stance against heckling, then waited to see if the heckler complied with their rubric of what he could or couldn't say. If all else failed, they could then utilize security forces to remove the heckler. But, under the "Democrat Way", they would have had to have the agreement of every single Democrat Presidential candidate, ever, in order to impose security measures. Oh, and they would also need the approval of people that don't like them, like maybe President Bush or Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh. Unless EVERYONE agrees, you can't just act unilaterally, you know...

Plus, to follow the Democrat Way, Franken should have asked himself, "Why does this man hate Howard Dean?" then, after careful study (perhaps even after taking the guy out to dinner every night for a few years, buying his medicine, and sending people in to fix his house and car) he could have suggested some ways that Dean could change in order to be more "likeable" to the protestor. Then, the use of force wouldn't have been necessary on any level, because every rally would be a Nirvana of Political Bliss.


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